Why Skipping a First Look Might Be the Biggest Wedding Day Regret

Savanna Sherstad
Apr 9, 2025
4 min read

Updated: Dec 11, 2025

wedding first look at Winery in Woodinville Washington — JM Cellars, Woodinville WA

One of the most meaningful moments you can build into your wedding day is the first look. Beyond being incredibly emotional and intimate, a first look gives you a chance to slow down, breathe, and savor a moment together before the whirlwind of the day begins. It eases nerves, creates space for genuine connection, and often becomes one of the most cherished memories couples walk away with. From a photography standpoint, it also allows for a smoother, more relaxed timeline and beautifully candid images you simply can’t recreate later. If you’ve ever wondered whether you should do a first look or not, here’s why it can make your wedding day even more special.

I want to start out with saying that FIRST LOOKS ARE NOT TRENDS. Trends come and go every couple of years. First Looks have been a part of wedding traditions for decades now, the reason they started was not to be unique, it was to designed to promote better flow, less stress and to help meet the photo expectations that couples have in the 21st century.

WITH A FIRST LOOK

Significantly better timeline flow
Get the nerves out of the way before your ceremony (this is sooo underrated)
You can use all the best spaces at the venue without guests in the way
It's easier to let yourself be emotional in this moment than in front of all your guests (some people are nervous about this, some aren't)
You get to give each other hugs/kisses and talk! During the ceremony, you won't be able to say anything to each other except your scripted vows.
Better momentum. Once you get married lets party, you don't want to take 1.5 hours worth of photos!
You can do private vows with each other. Some couples like to have a more intimate love letter/vows for this moment and then have a less lovey-dovey version that they say in front of their family and friends
The ease of transport in the event that you guys have multiple places to go to on your wedding day, you won't have to take separate cars and stay hidden while walking around!
You get to enjoy all this extra time together on your wedding day that you otherwise wouldn't if you stayed separate.
You wont keep your guests waiting during cocktail hour (it's a long for them, they will have traveled, sat through the ceremony, possibly driven to a second venue, waited during cocktail hour, then gone straight to dinner when everyone's trying to eat before they will get a chance to hug you and say hi!)
You get to enjoy cocktail hour and the party you've planned! Some of the best mingling photos and pictures with guests happen during cocktail hour. You'll never regret having this time with them.

WITHOUT A FIRST LOOK

I hear from couples (who by the way, have never planned a wedding before) "Oh it will be no big deal, we will just tell family to stay at the ceremony location after the ceremony and take photos"

This is hardly ever what works out. It sounds simple, but its not realistic in every situation.

What usually happens:

The couple exits along with the wedding party, the officiant pulls them into another room to sign papers. During that time family says "well this is taking a while I'll just go grab a drink real quick" they disappear into cocktail hour. Finally we are ready to take photos, now half of the family is gone. Mixed in with the crowd. The Couple can't go grab them because once they step into that crowd they are never getting out. I see the couple gets very frustrated with their family and instead of being happy to get hugs and celebrate they are now shouting at their families to line up for the pictures. Then we knock out wedding part photos, a lot of the wedding party has gone into cocktail hour too so we need to fish them out. After all the chaos its finally time to take the couples photos. Instead of living on a high that they would have had at their first look, they are now just trying to shake off their frustration with their families, and feeling rushed (no matter how many times I tell them we are ok on time) and feeling like they are missing their party and want to rush through the pictures. Depending on the time of year we might also be racing the clock with the sun setting.

Results: -We have less places to go take photos because there are cars and guests scattered about. -We often have less time to create a lot of photos and art.

-Often the couple is stressin' and this is not the look we want in the photos.

-They miss spending time with their friends at cocktail hour. -The joy of seeing their friends and family was spoiled by the feeling that they need to accomplish a big important task.

A Way To Make It Easier

Now let's say you sign papers after the photos (I highly highly recommend this if you skip a first look), you've got your family at the wedding alter sticking around for pictures. The problem here is it's not always the best spot for photos. Sometimes it's great, but sometimes due to lighting or space it really isn't the place you want to be taking photos, so we now have to use what we have, OR ask everyone to walk to a new place. This gets tricky with older relatives. If we happen to be in a big space with shade, we are good to go, but again, sometimes its just terrible lighting in ceremony locations. We have more options beforehand. Options are a good thing.

In the vast majority of weddings, a first look is going to be your best option for so many reasons. That being said, if you really want your wedding to exclude a first look before the ceremony, you really love the tradition, and don't mind the hiccups with the timeline, then you should do whatever it is that makes you happy! I'm not you, I can't make decisions for you, I can only offer advice based on my own experience and what I've witnessed first hand at 200 weddings.