You Will Be Stressed On Your Wedding Day If You Do These 7 Things

I’ve been a bride, and bridesmaid, a guest, and photographed nearly 200 weddings in my career. The couples that are stressed failed to avoid 1 or more of these 7 things:

Tsillian Cellars, Chelan WA

1. Not Doing A First Look

   I do want to be clear, for my couples who choose to not do a first look, and instead take all their photos after the ceremony, I will do whatever I can in my power to make sure this is not a stressful time for them. HOWEVER... I have never seen a couple relaxed and having fun when we take all their pictures during cocktail hour. They are always stressed out, no matter how much time we give them. No matter what type of mindset we try to create for them so they can enjoy the time. No matter how many times they said "we promise we won't be stressed!" They are missing their party, they are tired of being on a timeline, they just got married and want to celebrate and unwind and instead they are lining up for pictures and their family is missing, and it's just not fun. Couples who take pictures before their ceremony have fun! I want this for you!
   

   See my blog on the Pros and Cons of Doing a First Look

2.   Replacing Vendors With Family

   
   

   I'll give you one specific example that I've seen a few times at weddings: The Bride didn’t feel like a planner was necessary, or a set up crew, because she has a big family that can help with all of that. Wedding day comes, we are supposed to be taking family photos, we are behind schedule because of course her timeline was not created by a coordinator. Her family was not ready for family photos because they were still setting up tables, chairs, and decorations, they were still in their pajamas. They didnt know how long set up was going to take because they had never done it before. The Groom's family members were directing traffic in the parking lot (required by the venue to have some attendees), so they actually couldn’t stop what they were doing to come and take pictures until all guests had arrived. We were supposed to be done with all their photos before guests arrived. These are all things that would have been caught by a coordinator, they would have seen the issues before the wedding day and either convinced the bride to hire set up crew and parking attendees, or allotted enough time for family to set up before pictures.

   The big vendor I see couples skipping out on that I really wish they wouldn’t is the coordinator/planner.

   I get it, maybe you're a good planner and you love doing this type of thing! But let yourself have a day off on your wedding day and get a day of coordinator at least. Trust me when I say you do not want to be the point of contact when catering shows up and needs to ask where the landing dock is, or when someone can't find the table cloths, or all of the million little things that coordinators take charge of on a wedding day happen, you do not want this to be you while you're getting hair and makeup done! The other big one is your family will be busy all day hustling, and then will have to clean up after the wedding. They will miss out on the party to at least some degree. They are not in the practice of doing their assigned task like wedding vendors are, they don't know how much time they need for things, they don't know how to foresee challenges and hiccups in the wedding plans.

   Get yourself a vendor who can take this weight of your shoulders, and can allow your family to be guests at your wedding! You deserve this!
   

3. Having Too Many Location Changes

   Having to go from your hotel where you got ready, to a park to take pretty pictures, to your venue is A LOT. Its just a lot. You need a lot of time for all the travel, you need to figure out parking and carpooling and my goodness its just stressful on the day. Here’s what I’d look for in your venue before booking: -One that has space for getting ready, so you don’t have to get ready in a hotel and transport. -One that is beautiful, so you want to take all your photos there and don’t want to drive to a nearby park for photos. This is a really common problem that comes up a lot and to be honest I just do not get the appeal of a venue that you don't want to take pictures at. You’re paying a lot for a venue, make sure it's one you like! -One that has a great space for your ceremony and reception. I understand if it's important to you to get married at your church, and reception at a pretty venue, but if it's not for religious reasons I would highly recommend avoiding having a ceremony and reception in two separate places.

4. Writing Vows On Your Wedding Day

   
   

   Please oh please do not do this! I can't tell you how many times I've seen a bride or groom say “oh it will only take a few minutes I just have to copy them from my phone to my vow book” I promise you it will not take a few minutes. The most recent time I saw someone do this it took them 55 minutes. Which put us 55 minutes behind schedule. It caused them a lot of stress, it causes everyone who tries to do this a lot of stress, don’t do it! Write them the night/week before into your vow books, take your time making it neat and pretty. Don’t do it on your wedding day!
   

5. Cramming Their Timelines
   

   The feeling of being rushed or behind will stress anyone out on any given day. Don’t let this be you on your wedding day! Give yourself a lot of leeway time in every portion of the day leading up to the ceremony. "But what if things don't fall behind schedule and we have all this extra time?" GOOD! I hope you do have extra time to be surrounded by all your bridesmaids and closest family members and fiance leading up to your ceremony! I've never seen a couple bored or stressed or regretting having extra time in their timeline.

   It's always a good thing.
   

6. Not Hiring Your Dream Team of Vendors

   
   

   When you hire good experienced vendors, who want to work with all the other vendors as a team to make sure your wedding day goes smoothly, it's such an amazing thing! See my blog on Things To Do Before Hiring A Vendor: See My Favorite WA State Vendors:
   

7. Too Much DIY 

   I get it, some of us are really crafty, we like to make flower arrangements, we like planning events, we love to bake cakes, it sounds like a fun idea to do it for your own wedding and you might actually be totally capable of it! What I see with most couples, and I'm gonna say Brides because let's be real this is mostly brides who fall into this. It's simply too much to handle on your own wedding day. Even if you love it and thrive in it leading up to the wedding day. There are just so many things that are going to happen in a very very short period of time that need to get set out, delivered and all the things, and you have to get yourself ready. You also should be able to enjoy the flow of the day and not be bothered with labor and tasks!

   
   
   
   
   
   

   I want you to be 100% stress free on your wedding day, don't short yourself a good time!